I have travelled by myself all over the world. These are some of the classic things I hear people say.

‘Why are you travelling alone?’

Ok, this question is fair enough. I understand that people may be curious. But I am willing to bet that solo male travellers rarely get asked this.

‘Are you married?’

This is a classic question from your everyday creepy taxi driver who is excited to meet a foreign woman and is checking you out in the rear view mirror. There’s no best answer to this question.

Answer 1: ‘Yes, I’m married’.

Taxi driver: ‘Ohhhh, but he’s not with you now… What are you doing later?’.

Answer 2: ‘No, I’m not married’.

Taxi driver: ‘Ohhhh why?! But you are so beautiful… What are you doing later?’

Please, just drop me here (one block away from my destination so he doesn’t know where I’m staying).

‘Why isn’t your boyfriend with you?’

This one always leaves me a bit gobsmacked. I can actually exist without a male partner. I missed the memo that I was meant to bring my male chaperone.

Oh wait, in some countries you actually do need a male chaperone.

The treatment of women in some places is so concerning that I actually would prefer to go with a male companion to take a layer of stress off.

‘What does your family think?’

I find this question really strange. I’m on the far side of my 20’s, and moved out of ‘home’ when I was 18. I see myself as being very separate and independent from family. If my family even has an opinion about me travelling alone, I don’t see why that should impact me. I’ve noticed this question usually comes from people who have a strong culture of family ties, and this is just a very different culture to my own.

‘Aren’t you scared?’

I’m not going to give you a fluffy answer about how I’m not scared and that travel is the best thing and we should never be afraid of adventure.

The real answer is yes, sometimes I am scared. I do constantly consider my safety around strangers, definitely more than a male traveller would.

But I don’t know why you would assume that I always feel safe at home in Australia.

I feel scared when a man harasses me on the train. I feel scared when a man walks too close behind me at night. I feel scared when a man touches me without my consent.

Actually I often find that while I’m travelling men will give me more space, as people naturally want to segregate themselves from a foreigner. It’s in Australia where men feel more bold and entitled to intimidate me.

Stop asking women if they feel scared; of course we feel scared. Start asking men why they won’t stop threatening others.

‘Remember to be safe’

I honestly don’t know why you think I need to be reminded. I’ve spent my whole life learning how to protect myself as best as possible from threatening men. Me trying to be safe doesn’t change the behaviour of other people who want to hurt me. Can we please start reminding men to respect women, because it seems they are the ones forgetting this.

Next time your male friend is going travelling, tell them ‘remember to respect women!’.

‘Don’t go to India!’ (or other country with a negative stereotype)

You know what, I actually do not want to go to India as a backpacking solo female traveller. There are women who do this, so it can be done. I know that travellers in general find India overwhelming, (I am also not the best with spicy foods and stomach upsets), and I would prefer to manage this by going as part of an organised tour.

The point, though, is that I get to decide my own limits and where I’m comfortable going.

‘You’re so brave!’

Thank you, I appreciate it. But also, I wish it was just considered normal for women to travel solo.

With each generation I think the taboo or novelty of women doing things independently is becoming less and less.